In Darkness and Light
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: Two completely unrelated drabbles, written for Danie (xPerfectlyImperfect). 1st is Angst, 2nd Fluffy and fun :D
1. Chapter 1

**The first of two drabbles for Danie (xPerfectlyImperfect) about Marlene and Sirius. This is the angsty one, chapter two is all fluff :D Hope you like it lovely :D **

**My Fault **

I stand beside my best friend as he recites his vows, full of pride and happiness for him. Deeper down, in the place where I keep things I really don't want to deal with, is an aching sadness that it will never be me stood there. I'll never say those vows to the woman I love, never have her look at me the way Lily is looking at James. I'll never laugh with my friends about tan lines left by a gold band on my finger.

She looks beautiful, even more than she normally does. Lily has her dressed in a light shade of pink, and with her tanned skin and beautiful blonde hair, she looks like an angel. That's what she is to me, an angel, my guardian angel. She looks after me the way no other ever could. She gets me, she knows what I need when I need it. That's why when, after the wedding, I'll sit her down and tell her that we can't be together anymore, and she'll give me that sad smile that breaks my heart, and accept it.

I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could marry her, and spend many years happily together, but I can't. My name, my family, they won't let me. They know. Reg told me that they know Marlene is my girlfriend, and they're after blood. Bellatrix in particular is slathering at the thought of my beautiful Marlene being at their mercy while I fail to fight through the hoards of cowards in cloaks to save her.

The thought fills my nightmares, I no longer dream. The same night terror comes every night, and though she doesn't know why, she comforts me. She holds me close, she whispers soothing words, she reminds me that, for the moment, she is safe. I'll miss that. I'll miss her. I love her. And I have to let her go, I have to save her.

James and Lily have their first dance and as tradition requires, I offer my hand to Marlene. She stands, and I can already see the resignation in her face. She knows what is coming just as surely as I do. I wrap my arms around her waist as she wraps hers around my neck. I try to look at her, but she has her face buried in my shoulder. My beautiful Marlene has succumbed to tears, and it is all I can do not to join her.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, and she looks up at me.

"Then don't do it," she whispers back, and I can't help but admire her.

"I have to."

xxxx

I broke up with her a week ago, and my life is empty. Flat. I don't know what to do with out her. I tell myself to eat, sleep, do something, but there's no point to any of it without her. I want to floo her, or even bang on her door, beg her to take me back. It would be my own fault if she laughed in my face. I can't do any of it. I can't be selfish. While she's not with me, she's safe. She told me I was being stupid. She told me we could work it out. She's wrong, but I love her for trying.

xxxx

It was James who told me. When he broke the news, Lily crying in the background, I heard a scream of pain and denial. I looked around the room, looking for whoever it was that thought they had the right to react so badly when I realised it was me. James had to be lying to me, he had to be. But as I looked at my best friend, my brother, I knew he would never lie about such a thing.

My Marlene, my beautiful, perfect guardian angel. I thought she would be safe. I thought she would live a long and happy life. Instead she was tortured and killed, all alone. Because I wasn't there to protect her. I was to self absorbed to realise she was the one who was right. She told me, shouted at me, that we would be safer together, we could protect each other. I told her no. I thought they would leave her alone if she wasn't with me.

Apparently I was wrong. My mistake. My fault. My Marlene is dead because I couldn't protect her. Because I sent her away. My fault. All my fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**The second Drabble for Danie. I hope you like this one too :D For sanity's sake, Marlene's lines are in italics. **

**Bedtime Conversations **

_"Are you being serious?" _

"Deadly."

_"Why?"_

"Why not?"

_"Sirius, stop answering my questions with questions. Why?" _

"Because I love you and because we can. Simple."

_"Aww. That's sweet. I still don't see why you want to go on a Muggle holiday."_

"Come on Marlene, It'll be fun."

_"I suppose I better go and pack then. Bloody skiing holiday. I'm going to kill Lily."_

**xxxx**

"I'm sorry. I love you."

_"Go away, Sirius."_

"I really am sorry. I didn't know it was dangerous."

_"Go away Sirius." _

"Ouch. No need to get violent woman!"

_"It was a cushion. Wimp." _

"Marlene, please forgive me. It's not even my fault. Lily didn't tell me it was dangerous."

_"It is your fault. Go away before I hex you." _

"Marlene?"

_"What." _

"I love you. Do you want me to light a fire to help you warm up?"

_"No. I want you to sleep outside." _

"Urgh. What is it with the dog jokes."

_"Who's joking? Shoo puppy." _

"Alright, now your in for it."

_"Sirius...sto...Siri...STOP TICKLING ME!" _

"Can I sleep inside."

_"On the couch." _

"Better than a kennel I suppose. I'll take it. Marlene?"

_"Sirius, I'm trying to sleep, what do you want?" _

"I love you. Can I come to bed? It's cold."

_"Cast a warming charm." _

"Bloody Lily and her daft ideas. Skiing will be fun my arse."

_"Sirius?" _

"What?"

_"Come to bed and shut up." _

"I love you."

"_I love you too. One more word and I'll silence you." _

**xxxx**

"I brought a mixed bag, flowers, chocolate, fruit. I didn't know what you wanted."

_"Sirius, it's a routine appointment. I don't have to stay overnight."_

"Oh. Well, we'll have a feast at home then."

_"Thank you for caring. My flat or yours tonight?" _

"I...um...I was actually thinking we should start looking for an 'our' flat."

_"What, tonight?" _

"No, but soon."

_"Sirius, did you just ask me to move in with you?" _

"Um...yes?"

_"I'd love to." _

"Um...Marlene?"

_"Yes?"_

"I...um...I can't breathe. You're squeezing too tight."

_"Oh. Sorry."_

xxxx

"Am I scared? I'm bloody terrified. But not of what they can do to me."

_"Then what?" _

"I'm terrified that they will use you to hurt me."

_"I have faith in you. You'll protect me." _

"I hope so. How did I get so lucky to have someone like you in my life?"

_"I don't know, but I'm not going anywhere. You're not the only one who got lucky."_

"I love you, you know. More than anything."

_"I love you too." _

"Marry me, Marlene."

...

"Marlene?"

"Ouch, stop hitting me!"

"Marlene!? What did I do wrong?"

"Oh. If i ask again, more...romantically, and when we aren't in bed, what till your answer be?"

_"Yes. But I still want romance. And a ring."_

"No Probs. Love you, night."

_"Love you too. Jerk." _


End file.
